tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post1644850042990072393..comments2024-03-24T13:12:39.210+13:00Comments on Bluestocking <i>Blue</i>: Cloudy, with a chance of insightsViviennehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-75869218435571407252016-01-24T13:17:25.611+13:002016-01-24T13:17:25.611+13:00Hi Lettie. Thanks for posting your comment.
One o...Hi Lettie. Thanks for posting your comment.<br /><br />One of the themes of this blog is that trans people seems to organise themselves into factions and strata. They may be unwelcoming to those they perceive as outwith the same group they feel they belong to. Nonetheless, I believe there is more that unites us than divides us.<br /><br />Though I do cling to the autogynephilia model, it's interesting that I don't think it explains everything, and the more I think about this, the more I find people who just don't belong to the mould. It's very interesting to hear your say that you are an early transitioner, who admits to some AGP traits. I guess my current conclusion is that attempts to categorise trans people are very likely bound to fail, as there are always people who don't belong in any category!<br /><br />Vivienne.<br /><br />Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-51306806028886303022016-01-13T13:00:41.498+13:002016-01-13T13:00:41.498+13:00Hi, Probably I shouldn't post here, but why no...Hi, Probably I shouldn't post here, but why not? Kierkegaard said, everyone makes things easier, so I want to make them harder. I am a 65 yr old TS. I started living as a woman at 20 in 1970 (in a commune!) and had surgery in my 20's. I am an intellectual, high-achiever but also have always hung out with gay drama crowds. I have some AGP traits, but I like men. Some CDs like the idea of being forced to CD by a dominant woman. I like being in bed with a dominant man who will make me feel like a woman (which to me seems like a closely related scenario). My novel, about how things played out for me when I was young. ('Almost', Lettie Zeste; Amazon) might not appeal to the taste of people here, who may prefer to objectify their own experience; I wanted to show myself a little pity. I guess I still am confused. I feel like a little of each type. Certainly my feeling haven't changed over the years. It seems like everyone constructs a specific internal notion of CD, Trans, gay, straight etc. that seems obvious to themselves but maybe not to others. Is it possible that being a 'type' doesn't remove the obligation to be yourself as well?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-15270116722504355542015-12-10T01:09:17.141+13:002015-12-10T01:09:17.141+13:00Hi Rod. Thanks for dropping by to post your commen...Hi Rod. Thanks for dropping by to post your comments.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-51780089015366138712015-12-09T12:30:43.088+13:002015-12-09T12:30:43.088+13:00Mmmm. You impassioned post is interesting. You may...Mmmm. You impassioned post is interesting. You may wish to read some of Jaimie Veale's papers in which a notion of 'defence mechanisms' is explored as a partial explanation for AGP. However, any sense of sexual arousal at the act of wearing culturally-identified gender-specific women's clothing, or the idea of 'being a woman' (for a man) are pretty much sure diagnoses for autogynephilia. <br /><br />Blanchard does not set out to answer what causes autogynephilia; he simply identifies it as an underlying condition with the symptoms observed. What triggers it, he no more speculates on than the actual cause of homosexual attraction, and by inference, HSTS. So whether the trigger for AGP is pre-natal or post-natal is somewhat academic: the condition remains the same. <br /><br />As Vivienne and others have pointed out, while it is clear that many AGPs don't like the fact of AGP or that it applies to them, especially those who have fully transitioned, it does. A quick reality check can be performed by asking this question: if those people whom science identifies as AGP are actually women, in accordance with the so-called 'brain sex' theory, why are almost none of them exclusively attracted to men? (This works for HSTS too: their orientation profile exactly matches feminine gay men's and not women's -- they only like manly men.) <br /><br />The 'brain sex' theory has no substantiation whatsoever, and before anyone says anything, Zhou was debunked a long time ago. Look instead at the separate studies carried out by Rametti et al and Savic and Arver in 2011, the former exclusively on HSTS and the latter on AGPs, the one finding that HSTS had brains shifted towards the female on every tested parameter, and the other that AGPs had brains 'indistinguishable' from men's. So even if 'brain sex' were applicant to MtF, it is only to HSTS and it simply doesn't apply to AGPs. These studies confirmed Blanchard's predictions and finally shot the 'brain sex' theory, appropriately enough, in the head, at least as far as AGP goes.<br /><br />Regarding the possible pre-natal causes of AGP, there is a major problem with this in that AGP, essentially, is a phenomenon restricted to white Western men. In Asia, where there are huge numbers of MtF who correspond to the HSTS type -- ie they are sexually attracted to men and share an aetiology with gay men -- there are almost no AGPs. Zero percent in one survey, and many commentators have noted and remarked on this. Now, since we are all human, this means that either there is an environmental cause unique to the geographic regions where Western white men grow up, or these pre-natal factors are universal but have some other effect in non-Western communities. Personally I don't find either of these lines convincing, which leaves us with the inevitable conclusion that AGP is actually a cultural by-product of Western culture itself. (Contrast this with HSTS, which occurs everywhere at a roughly similar rate, and always has.)<br /><br />I am personally inclined to the view that childhood conditioning, particularly in the presence of either a weak male role model or conversely an abusively controlling one (this is part of Veale's thinking), together with an aggressively misogynistic culture in which only 'manly men' are validated, is the specific trigger; there may possibly be pre-natal factors in play but in the absence of certain elements of Western culture, they have some other effect. <br /><br />Some researchers, eg Moser, have noted a link between AGP and androphobia, particularly phobia of dominant males (which paradoxically, many AGPs actually are)and this may also be a part of the explanation. <br /><br />In general the evidence does not point towards an innate cause that specifically triggers AGP, but either to a purely cultural cause or a cultural modification of an innate stimulus.<br /><br /> Rod Fleminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05562247307834442607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-84699363639958421662015-04-29T21:59:01.564+12:002015-04-29T21:59:01.564+12:00I consider that the commentary on all my posts is ...I consider that the commentary on all my posts is never closed, so thanks for posting. (Would you mind signing with some sort of name to distinguish yourself from other anonymous posters?)<br /><br />I think the point you make is well made. I am sure that some people could indeed fit that mould. I know for myself I still experience shame and guilt about crossdressing, which was strongly conditioned into me as a young man. It undoubtedly influences my gender expression today.<br /><br />All I would say is that AGP is not the <i>truth</i> but merely a theory which fits the facts quite well. Like all models, it is predictive in some circumstances, but fails in others. I don't pretend it explains every last manifestation of cross-gender behaviour. However, I do think it explains quite a lot of what I observe, including in myself.<br /><br />I haven't really found a better model, though there do seem to be people who insist that it's a waste of time to attempt to make any models at all. We should just accept that people are who they are. Though I can see the attraction of this, it doesn't sit well with me as a scientist, who enjoys categorising everything.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-50605340107318933052015-04-25T11:34:13.219+12:002015-04-25T11:34:13.219+12:00I know this is old.. but I wanted to speak up anyw...I know this is old.. but I wanted to speak up anyways. LOL<br /><br />If there's one criticism I have with the AGP model above all others, it's the lack of accounting for severe emotional repression due to a hostile home environment or other similar environmental factors. We know this happens in many areas unrelated to being TS/CD, so it should be taken into account for the AGP model as well. If you are not free to express yourself, and you are aware of it, that can add up to years of conditioning, which then takes years to undo. <br /><br />For example, Let's take a 35yo TS late transitioner who has stealthily crossdressed since they were first able to get away from mom and dad to buy something on their own at age 11. Let's assume that the person was shot down for these things since age 5 (age out of a hat) when they first expressed a desire to be the opposite sex. The household is rigidly gendered with very religious overtones, punctuated by all sorts of family issues: mild Domestic Violence, Divorce, etc. So, this child has been shoved down and learned not to speak up about their issues from the age of 5. Around puberty they are shoved in and out of mental hospitals because they are having emotional outburst issues. The hospitals and shrinks declare them to be bipolar, but they know they are angry for another reason; they can't be themselves. They are deathly afraid to tell anyone for fear of their parents, so they continue to clam up. At 18 they finally get out of the house. In college, they still must repress most of the time because they went to a private religious college for a year. Then they escape to a state college. However, they're still dependent on their mother to fill out the FAFSA to pay for school because they're poor. They graduate after 5 years, now 23 years old. They move back with mom while they try to find a job, reliant on her for housing with no other options immediately. They finally move out, meet their future wife, and reveal their CD secret at age 24. This hypothetical person has 19+ years of repressive conditioning under their belt. They are completely out of touch with their emotional needs. They will not seek help from a mental health professional because of their experiences as a child, and fear being written off. This will take YEARS of deprogramming to overcome on their own because of all of the layers that will have to be dealt with. They will typically be in their 30's by this point, simply because of the time factor.<br /><br />This is a story in various forms I have heard from many late transitioners. I'm not against the idea that there are mostly likely SOME AGP individuals out there. The AGP model completely ignores the repressive programming aspect though, and labels them AGP. That is what I find most wrong with the model as it stands.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-61875384929641825492013-08-15T17:55:12.913+12:002013-08-15T17:55:12.913+12:00Hi Georgia,
I think that the theory states that m...Hi Georgia,<br /><br />I think that the theory states that men with autogynephilia express it differently, depending on how "affected" they are. Some of us can keep it under control, dressing only occasionally (even if we wish we could do it more). Some of us are helpless in its grip, and get into debt, ruin our marriages and our careers, in its pursuit. Some of us are so affected that we want hormones and surgery to transition permanently to be women.<br /><br />The theory also states that the erotic target in question is the <i>self</i> but in the role of the female. Some of us are content to see her in the mirror once in a while and admire how pretty she looks. Some of us want to see her having adventurous forms of sex, which is highly arousing. Some of us want to see her curves every time we look down.<br /><br />What I am seeking is a theory which explains the many manifestations of cross-dressing behaviour which I see. Autogynephilia is the best so far; it explains most of it, but not everything. It explains just about everyone I have blogged about with the exception of Jaye Davidson and Simon Carlyle, even though I have blogged about many different individuals and practices.<br /><br />It does trouble me that the natural progress of crossdressing is for it to become more prevalent with age. It does trouble me that it might reach the point where I can't contain it.<br /><br />Hope this helps. Email might be a better medium of exchange if you want to ask more searching questions.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-85044559245791759902013-08-15T11:34:09.716+12:002013-08-15T11:34:09.716+12:00Hi. I reread it and I noticed that you said "...Hi. I reread it and I noticed that you said "some men who cross-dress" not necessarily you. So I'm going with that unless you have something to add.BroadBlogshttp://broadblogs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-79845586174534247212013-08-15T07:08:34.477+12:002013-08-15T07:08:34.477+12:00In the post I'm writing for my blog I'm pl...In the post I'm writing for my blog I'm planning to say the following, because that's how I read it:<br /><br />V. says that autogynephilia clicks in this way:<br />It fits with why I think high heels are sexy... It fits Helen Boyd's painful and forthright observations about some crossdressers: eternally selfish, frequently overspending, sexually interested only in themselves (not their wives). It fits with what most customers want who go to that makeover shop... It even fits my phenotype (white, successful, high IQ).<br /><br />Do you mean that all of those things fit you? That they fit cross-dressers that you know? Or that you are worried that you might come to feel some of these ways, such as being sexually interested only in yourself and not your wife?<br /><br />I don't want to misquote your experience in the post I'm writing.BroadBlogshttp://broadblogs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-63520453346841187542013-03-15T07:58:29.005+13:002013-03-15T07:58:29.005+13:00Vivienne,
While I agree that autogynephilia per s...Vivienne,<br /><br />While I agree that autogynephilia per se is likely to be universal and evenly distributed across all cultures, the public expression of it is not, especially for full-time expression, i.e. "transition" to living full time in a nominally female role. In the countries you mentioned, while "homosexual" transgender expression is tolerated, autogynephilic transgender expression is not. You may be interested in reviewing my blog entry on the two papers on the subject by Anne Lawrence:<br /><br />http://sillyolme.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/better-the-second-time-around/<br /><br />--CloudyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-50182782063077780192013-03-01T10:36:40.246+13:002013-03-01T10:36:40.246+13:00You could well be right. But I think there are som...You could well be right. But I think there are <i>some</i> innate differences between men and women's behaviour, and a reasonable discussion could be had about exactly where the line between biologically-driven and culturally-driven behaviour should be drawn.<br /><br />I know next to nothing about the presence of cross-dressing behaviour in non-Western countries. I am reasonably certain that autogynephilia exists throughout humanity; though I can't be sure the prevalence is equal across the board. It is certainly true that some cultures (e.g. Samoa, Thailand, and India) transgender behaviour is accepted, even welcomed; while in other cultures it is detested and suppressed. So how a man behaves in one of these cultures is determined very significantly by a balance between his innate feelings and his cultural surroundings.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-1882046579029825612013-02-22T16:05:14.116+13:002013-02-22T16:05:14.116+13:00But even the tendency for men to be visually orien...But even the tendency for men to be visually oriented is taught to them. If you look at tribal societies men don't get visually aroused by women's breasts and butts or there clothing, for instance.<br /><br />When I got into sociology, and the social construction of reality, I was amazed at how much that seems biologically-based is actually culturally based.BroadBlogshttp://broadblogs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-3506119654812212422013-02-10T00:38:38.474+13:002013-02-10T00:38:38.474+13:00Hi Georgia,
Culture vs biology. Who knows? I myse...Hi Georgia,<br /><br />Culture vs biology. Who knows? I myself have wondered: if I had been raised in some sort of hypothetical society where the roles of women and men were identical, and our clothing was indistinguishable, what would happen to me? Would it be <i>nothing</i> because I could express myself whatever way I liked? Would some other proclivity (or aberrant behaviour) assert itself? This remains an insoluble question for me, but my best guess is that I was born with a set of innate tendencies which were shaped by my upbringing and societal norms, and I now express those tendencies by crossdressing.<br /><br />I can't answer the question about why it is usually men who crossdress. Cloudy could perhaps illuminate the science a little better, but my own view is that crossdressing behaviour is driven by the <i>masculine</i> sex drive, and I think the difference can be explained by the way men and women think about sex differently. Men want to <i>do</i>, or to <i>see</i>. Women want to <i>feel</i>. Male porn: explicit acts, right in your face. Female "porn": romantic literature. These are, of course, stereotypes, and there are exceptions on both sides. But an identical desire in a man and a woman could be acted out as quite different behaviour, simply reflecting differences which already exist between the sexes.<br /><br />I do seem to have some feminine traits: warmth and nurturing are pretty innate to me, and I have never (as discussed on your blog) pursued sex as a goal, instead pursuing intimacy and mutuality. And while crossdressing allows me to experience an emotional and sensual set of pleasures which are usually closed to men, I believe it isn't my inner femininity which compels me to do it, but my inner masculinity.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-78085177852147821802013-02-09T19:42:12.328+13:002013-02-09T19:42:12.328+13:00It seems to me that people cross-dress to experie...It seems to me that people cross-dress to experience attributes of the other gender, calling up a persona that’s created thru clothing that makes those traits feel more real. So women seem to cross-dress to more fully experience their masculine selves – the power and confidence that goes with that gender. Men seem to cross-dress to experience a more feminine side which for some, as with you, involves a sexual sense of self.<br /><br />This leaves me wondering if the draw of cross-dressing is due more to culture than biology. If cross-dressers like you have brains that don’t distinguish between self and other as sexually desirable, why does it always seem to be men with this brain issue? Is there actually biological evidence or is it theoretical?<br />BroadBlogshttp://broadblogs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-300827454130713752013-01-17T18:14:33.946+13:002013-01-17T18:14:33.946+13:00Hi Georgia,
To take your second point first, if m...Hi Georgia,<br /><br />To take your second point first, if making it easier means that you will comment more, then the answer is yes, of course I will! I thought Blogger made it mandatory to prove you're not a bot when posting a comment, but I see now this setting can be changed, and I've done that. Please let me know if it works!<br /><br />Just to pick up on your terminology a little. I would use the word "transsexual" to describe someone who permanently changes sex using surgery, etc. Even the late-transitioners would usually insist vociferously that there is nothing sexual about their transition, and indeed by the time they come to take this step, there probably isn't; even when the <i>original</i> motivation to change gender was for sexual arousal.<br /><br />Since I and most of my visitors are male-to-female, I wrote everything up from this perspective. However, there are early-transitioning female-to-male transsexuals (HSTS in the above model); female-to-male crossdressers who do it for gratification including sexual gratification (the term is auto<i>andro</i>philia; and late-transitioning female-to-male transsexuals too. There are also "drag kings", women who perform as men. In other words, for every male-to-female activity, there seems to be a female-to-male counterpart, though I think that just about everyone agrees that female-to-males are much less common across the board.<br /><br />I wrote a blog post about it, Women Who Crossdress, here: http://bluestockingblue.blogspot.co.nz/2012/10/women-who-crossdress.html<br /><br />I would love to hear what you think about it.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-31807452286647340172013-01-17T06:50:46.723+13:002013-01-17T06:50:46.723+13:00Regarding transsexuals who cross-dress because it ...Regarding transsexuals who cross-dress because it is sexually arousing, is it always males who dress like women? Or do women ever dress like men?<br /><br />By the way, you have to go through hoops to comment on your blog. It's kind of difficult. Can you make it easier?BroadBlogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01208243606485554391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-9934077321847465322012-12-29T12:12:53.169+13:002012-12-29T12:12:53.169+13:00Thanks for posting John.
I think that androgen an...Thanks for posting John.<br /><br />I think that androgen antagonists may be of some help to some crossdressers who are attempting to quit, but I don't believe they should be used without very careful discussion with a doctor. I also believe that, as with (for example) disulfiram, the medication itself is no use without the will to give up, and a solid support structure to call upon.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-50319444081873525692012-12-27T22:10:14.987+13:002012-12-27T22:10:14.987+13:00Vivienne and Cloudy,
In the blog site Stop Crossd...Vivienne and Cloudy,<br /><br />In the blog site Stop Crossdressing (http://stopcrossdressing.com/positive-mindset/pressing-the-delete-button/#comment-1286), there is a MTF crossdresser who has stated that he has had much success with the taking af antagonists, in his particular case Spironolactone, to curb his crossdressing. <br /><br />I've had a hard time finding the specific posts again on the site but for the most part he said that he was now able to engage in fulfilling sex with his wife for the first time in years and he was finding her attractive again and not feeling CD urges. He also stated that thus far he has had few significant side effects. Just thought I'd put it out there FYI.<br /><br />JohnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-45605892996092993442012-12-25T00:35:25.723+13:002012-12-25T00:35:25.723+13:00Fair point Thorin. I think you are pretty much on ...Fair point Thorin. I think you are pretty much on the money.<br /><br />Even sex isn't just about sex. It's about a lot of other things: intimacy, bonding, comfort, reassurance, excitement, passion, etc. It wouldn't be a surprise at all if crossdressing could provide more pleasures than just sexual excitement.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-75794382463047834212012-12-25T00:27:36.519+13:002012-12-25T00:27:36.519+13:00Hi Georgia,
Thanks for dropping by to post your c...Hi Georgia,<br /><br />Thanks for dropping by to post your comments.<br /><br />For question 1, who knows? It all depends on your point of view. If you consider a post-op MtF transsexual to be a woman, then she would be a lesbian if she were attracted to you. On the other hand, if you consider that person to be a man, then he would be straight. But I suspect there are many different answers to your question.<br /><br />It's the same basic question as this old chestnut: if the tree falls in the forest, and nobody hears it, does it make a noise? If your definition of "noise" is a disturbance in the air, then the answer is "yes". If your definition of "noise" is what is perceived by the human cortex in response to a disturbance in the air, then the answer is "no".<br /><br />For me, the desire to be beautiful is a manifestation of my desire to make my inner woman as attractive as possible. The question posed by Anne Lawrence is wonderfully subtle: she is asking what is important to the transgender individual. For an early-onset transsexual, they just want to be taken as a woman by everyone who meets them. Beauty is all very well, but it's not as important as being seen as a woman. For a late-onset transsexual, or a transvestite, that person's goal is to make their inner woman as attractive and desirable as possible. This is certainly true of me.<br /><br />I think there is a culturally-mediated value associated with female beauty, although to a considerable extent it is manufactured: we are conditioned to consider as "beautiful" women who don't look very much like real women: too tall, too thin, whatever.<br /><br />Vivienne.Viviennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06137595207723645418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-14524353591256392332012-12-24T07:25:54.831+13:002012-12-24T07:25:54.831+13:00Rebecca,
You appear to be asking about an essenti...Rebecca,<br /><br />You appear to be asking about an essentialist definition or a socially constructed definition of "woman" and "man" and which should be applied to an MTF transsexual? Take your pick. Gender is first and foremost a social fact. What do we attribute to a given individual? Do we, upon meeting and socializing with them, feel that person to be "male"/"man" or "female"/"woman"? That is what gender that person is... YOUR PERCEPTION. Sadly, many transsexuals want the answer to have been their OWN "identity".<br /><br />If you mean to ask about a biological / neurological issue? Simply stated, an MTF TS individual who is sexually attracted to women is likely to also be autogynephilic. Neurologically, that means that they are in all respects "male"... but they have a specific neurological anomaly in which the mechanism which keeps one from looking for the sexual target, femininity / femaleness, on oneself has partially or completely failed. Thus, they find feminizing their own body to be sexually arousing and emotionally comforting. So... that could be described as a "straight man in a dress"... though real life is far more complex and it is cruel and unnecessary to insist on such essentialist definitions.<br /><br />BTW, from reading your "about" page on your blog, we are essentially neighbors. I grew up in bicycle riding distance from Foothill College, took classes there, etc. I lived for years in San Jose. Send a PM?<br /><br />--Cloudy<br />http://sillyolme.wordpress.com/about/ Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-9876051532537088992012-12-23T05:09:46.783+13:002012-12-23T05:09:46.783+13:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Thorin25https://www.blogger.com/profile/14491694029264437630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-18246453637108247162012-12-22T09:13:03.639+13:002012-12-22T09:13:03.639+13:00Thanks. I'm learning a lot from your blog. One...Thanks. I'm learning a lot from your blog. One of the most confusing things being if a biologically male transexual were attracted to me is she gay or straight?<br /><br />I also wonder if desiring to be beautiful over passable is due to<br /><br />1) A culture that values beauty over female gender<br />Or<br />2) is connected to the sexually arousing aspect of cross-dressing<br /><br />Just wondering.broadblogshttp://broadblogs.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-80380265993873774802012-12-19T11:28:22.389+13:002012-12-19T11:28:22.389+13:00Sillyolme, I can attest to that. In my teen years...Sillyolme, I can attest to that. In my teen years I had no idea if I was gay, if I wanted to become a woman, if I was *meant* to be a woman, etc. and I often flirted with the idea of transformation.<br /><br />Then I had my first sexual encounter with a girlfriend. WOW, did that cure me of any thoughts I should be a woman! A couple of years later I got married (different lady) and had an active sex life.<br /><br />The desire to crossdress never went away, but now I am happy and comfortable being a man in a dress; my sexual appetite is fulfilled through "conventional heterosexuality" as you say. Sometimes I wonder if I only dress up now because after 40 years it's just what I'm used to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4642548439896244587.post-27167721455441472262012-12-18T12:00:47.816+13:002012-12-18T12:00:47.816+13:00Yes, I did say that the cure is worse!
The only o...Yes, I did say that the cure is worse!<br /><br />The only other treatment is to take note that autogynephilia and conventional heterosexuality are competitive. It has been oft noted that the need to cross-dress AND associated gender dysphoria, are diminished when conventional pair-bonds compete with it, namely, that falling in love with a woman greatly reduces the desire and urgency (progression) of AGP... so much so that many AGP TS folks have dropped out of programs, detransitioned, etc., when they fall in love.<br /><br />So... working on "keeping the spark alive" with one's wife may be one way dealing with it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com